新视野大学英语第三版第一册

8.2. Text B Similarities and differences: Friendship across cultures

eprivilege of living in Europe, Africa and North America and have made many foreign friends there. My family, friends, and co-workers are always very interested and curious and shower me with questions like: How do you begin a friendship in a foreign country? Are they different from us? Do people in those countries value friendship? In fact, the framework and value of friendship is universal and comparable around the world. But the way friendship is expressed differs greatly from country to country. The difficulty when strangers from two countries meet is not a lack of appreciation for friendship but the assumption of sameness. They do not anticipate thediverse expectations andsubtle differences of whatconstitutes friendship, how it comes into being and how it should be expressed. So, who is a friend? How should friends treat each other? That depends on where you are! 2 In the United States, society is highly mobile and it is quite common for people to move back andforth across the country for a new job, education, or many other reasons. The term friend can be appliedcasually to a wide range of relationships — to someone you worshipwith, to a close business associate, to a childhood playmate, or a trusted ally, either man or woman. They may be parents of the children's friends, a neighbor's guests, members of a committee, or business clients from another town or even another country. For Americans, there are real differences among these relations; a friendship may be superficial, casual, situational or deep and enduring. But a foreign visitor who comes to an American home canscarcely find any variations. For an outsider, who sees only behavior visible on the surface, the differences seem arbitrary if they find any. The mood is relaxed, and there is little ceremony. Most people, old and young, are called by first names and family and friends alike interact freely and speak in a relaxed, casual way. 3 Comparatively, friendship in other countries seems more complicated. In France, as in many other European countries, friends generally are of the same sex. Many French people doubt the possibility of cross-gender friendships. For the French, friendship is a one-to-one relationship that demands a keen awareness of the other person's personality and specialized interests. The special relationship of friendship is based on what the French value most — on the mind, on compatibility of outlook, on a corresponding appreciation of artistic expression, on a love of fine foods, on philosophy, or on the enjoyment of sports. French friendships are private relationships with distinct boundaries. A man may play chess with one friend or discuss poetry with another for 30 years without learning about either of his friends' personal lives or families. 4 In Germany, friendship is much more a matter of feeling and affection. Young boys and girls form deeply sensitive alliances, walk and talk together — not so much to polish theirwits as to share their hopes, fears, and ideals, and to join in a kind of mutual discovery of each other's own inner life. Within the family, the closest relationship over a lifetime is between brothers and sisters. German men and women find in their closest friends among the same sex theloyalty of a brother or the devotion of a sister.

5 English friendships follow a still different pattern. Their basis is shared activity. They may share literary interests, serve on a committee, enjoy sports together or share a mutual love of walking. Close English friendships may be of the same sex or of mixed gender; friends may be found in two people, two couples or even a small group. English friendships are made outside the family but can often been hanced by becoming an integrated part of a family's social life. 6 What, then, is friendship and what is its significance? To summarize, it's a vital human quality that can bind people together for life. And unlike family, it involves freedom of choice. A friend is someone you choose and who chooses you. My friends are quite different from each other. Some are mutual friends. Conversely, others don't even like each other! That is the odd thing about friendship. Just because I like two people does notguarantee that they will like each other. However, I owe them all a debt of gratitude. Whatever the continent or country, people have extended the hand of friendship and welcomed me into their lives. By opening the doors of friendship to me, they occupy a special place in my heart. They have profoundly enriched my life experience, because wherever I am, when I'm with friends, I feel at home. The miracle of friendship is the same. It just takes time to understand the many different ways that friendship is expressed around the world.